Irisisms

Iris was quite a wit in her preschool days. Now that she's a kindergartener who, more than anything, resembles a miniature teenager, I cast my memory back to her lighter days at times. Here are some Irisisms from age four:

"When I grow up, I think Lucy should be MY child."

"I know so many rules. I learned a new rule today," said very proudly,
skipping down the sidewalk away from preschool.
(Me: makes encouraging, drawing out noises)
"It's about 'No Pushing.'"

(When I tried to get to the bottom of how she "learned this new rule", all I got was "I don't remember" and "I'm always very good").

(to one of her friends at preschool, said with a monitory fingershaking) "Now, Meredyth, I know you get very upset when I'm not here."

Iris commanded my presence and her baby sister's at a puppet show: she flicked the lights off and on to signal the show starting AND she asked me and Lucy sternly if we'd turned off our celphones and pagers before the performance. After this very professional start, the puppet show consisted of her brandishing a chicken made out of a paper bag and shouting, "Boo! Boo! Boo!"

Iris made up a tall tale one day about how at snacktime at her preschool, they served "dried worms" and hers was the looooongest dried worm of all the children's dried worms. I found the story funny, and I ran with the concept for a while, asking if everyone ate their worms, were there enough dried worms for seconds, etc... Consumed with nagging guilt, Iris confessed over a week later that she'd lied, saying "my head was all confused."

(to Lucy) "You have thirty seconds to make me throw up."

(grandly) "Everyone on the earth should have a name.... especially me."

One morning in July, 2004, Iris was roughhousing with Lucy, and she explained to me, "We're playing cocktail sticks. Lucy is the cocktail sticks, and I have to catch her."

Another summer day she told someone, "I swim at La Petite Baleen. I know what that means. It means 'enjoy your food with a whale.'"

One day she suggested to me, "Let's play police officers under the sea."

Nowadays she asks us for Green Day CDs and to have her ears pierced. I sometimes miss the days of imaginary dried worms.