The older and less appealing I get, the happier I am when someone truly gets me. Recently my friend, Kim I, shared with me that she and her delightful teenaged niece have a game in which they add to lists of each other's pet peeves, and that she drew up a list for me. Her list for me was virtually spot on; there was only one item I disagreed with (a high school love rival; I didn't bear a grudge). I was so oddly moved.
Things The Drunken Housewife Dislikes (as written by Kim I, highschool friend)
Yes (the band)
People who cut in front of others in line/don't yield in traffic/etc. , in other words, people who are assholes
Mayonnaise
Ferris Buehler
Keira Knightly
Smirnoff
Having "Carole" spelled incorrectly
WAMU
high school senior year in Maine
MIL
Authors Carolyn Chute and John James (I think that's his name...he wrote a bunch of "historical" novels back in the 70's & 80's).
Germany
Don Quixote
Your love/hate relationship with Naomi Wolf
I would add to that India (other than the Taj Mahal and Indian food), people who look down on me because I am a stay-at-home mother, the whole working-mother-vs-SAHM debate (why doesn't anyone talk about "working fathers"??), Kevin Federline, television psychics, anyone who parks in my preferred parking space (Iris offered to paint the curb red there to discourage others; the child is truly a dear), homeopathy, and tomatoes.
And, for some contrast, Kim I's List of Things Which Work Kim I's Nerves
People who think I'm lying when I tell them I'm 1/2 Japanese
Wallpaper borders
Ashlee Simpson
Corvettes, their balding, middle-aged drivers and the bleach blondes in the passenger seats
"Alot"
Twinkees, Snoballs and Candy Corn
Planet Hollywood T-shirts
Loud kissers (overzealous PDA's)
Women who assume their husband's name exclusively as their identity (ie Mrs. Howard Smith)
7 comments:
What's with the Don Quixote dislike? It is one of my favorite books ever. Perhaps you read a bad translation? I read and loved the Putnam translation. There is a new translation by Grossman that came out in 2005 which I haven't yet had the pleasure of reading. Perhaps I'll put it on my library wish list and report back to you.
I'll lots of free time for reading after the baby's born, right?
Kim (may I call you Kim), what's your issue with candy corn? I like it - a lot.
I have read "Don Quixote" in the original Spanish, and I hated it. When I studied abroad, I was given a special edition of it (which I should have kept, I guess) by a Spaniard with a crush on me who wouldn't accept that I legitimately hate it. I'll write about "Don Quixote" sometime soon (maybe even today).
Dear Green,
My ex-husband and my former best lawyer friend (she moved to Paris, whaa) were huge candy corn addicts. They both ate it year-round and could discuss the differences between the various sorts.
I have to agree with Kim on the borders, Ashlee Simpson, balding Corvette drivers with bleach blondes (the cars themselves are okay, though, before 1964. They’re on my list of Things I Like), and unignorable PDAs. But twinkies and candy corn – I love those!
I agree that those cutters are just plain jerks, but Ferris? I had such a crush on Matthew Broderick and still love that movie. I think Keira is a little too skinny, but gorgeous and pretty down-to-earth from the interviews I’ve read.
I don't hate Keira Knightley as a person; I just think she is a terrible actress, so stiff. She's a beautiful young woman, but she's so anorexic and bad at acting.
As for "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", yes, I'm the only person in North America who hated that movie. Here, check out the story of the day I saw it: http://drunkenhousewife.blogspot.com/2006/05/ministry-of-flirtation-other-moments.html
On the women assuming their husbands identity as their own - I went to an all girl school, dedicated to the advancement and empowerment of women, and in every single document that came out of the school, the mothers were referred to as Mrs. John Smith (or Mrs. Dr. John Smith). It was so insane!
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