if we lived on a planet

Evidently someone suggested to Lola that Earth is a planet, and she's still indignant. She ranted to me at length about this.

"If the earth were a planet, we would live on a planet. And then we would have no cosy beds! And no books. And no magazines. And we would have NO STUFFED ANIMALS. And no clocks. If we lived on a planet, we could have no pets. No television. No videos. We would have nothing to do!"