the Dutch, such an admirable people

I once spent a week in Amsterdam, and I was astonished at how fabulous and nigh-flawless Dutch society seemed to me. It seems as though the Dutch have solved the modern and urban problems which so plague American cities. Even the junkies were presentable and not begging for change. Everyone seemed so well-educated (the average Dutch person appears to be multilingual and highly versed in history, not to mention polite as all get out). I stumbled upon a huge, open air book market, and I so strongly wanted to become Dutch and stay there forever. The drug problems, the crime problems (yes, I know there is crime in the Netherlands, but I'll take the very worst neighborhoods of Amsterdam over the killing zones in Richmond and Oakland, any day), prostitution, environmentalism: everything seems so tidily sorted out. (Incidentally last year I planted tulip bulbs, but they won't thrive in my mild climate. It turns out you need a frost to shock them into a true hibernation in order for tulips to excel. I may or may not see mine again this spring, but I knew that when I planted them. I figured I'd try to enjoy what I got, seeing as how I am too lazy to dip up the bulbs and put them in my refrigerator for three months like a true gardener would).

The long arm of the Dutch has reached out and tapped me on the shoulder, and I've started doing more housework. Why? Self-absorbed as always, not to mention always attempting, in my poseur way, to be international, I noticed there was a sizeable influx of Dutch readers, and I followed them back to this saucy Dutch website*, where, as best as I can determine, someone recommended me to the other readers as a good source of unimportant information (and yes, that does not insult me. It's a pretty accurate description of me. For example, want to know the difference between an aperitif and a digestif? Ask me. Want some useful information? Go elsewhere). The Dutch website taught me that regular housework is likely to reduce my risks of breast cancer. Being fond of my tits (my best feature, aside from my sparkling green eyes--- forget the rest), I have obeyed this Dutch mandate.

We'll see how long it lasts. My history with housework is one of faux feminist-tinged laziness.

*The Dutch website discusses a recent, irritating study showing a significantly lower incidence of breast cancer in women who do regular, significant amounts of housework.