You and That Skin Infection Were Meant for Each OtherThere's lots more where that came from. I love snippets of weird, anonymous conversation. When I was an undergraduate, the B.U. student paper ran a column of Overheard on Campus items, and once I was in it. Someone overheard me talking to my (now long-lost) friend Melissa Clarke: "My phone has just been ringing off the hook. I've been out every night."
Lady: So, are you giving them gifts this year?
Fat woman with afro: Ugh, I just spent 300 dollars on my tattoo. I can't afford it.
Lady: Oh, really?
Fat woman with afro: You know, in Amsterdam tattoos are covered by the government. It's part of the health plan.
Lady: Wow.
Fat woman with afro: I mean, why should I pay 600 dollars for emergency health insurance when I'd rather that money be spent on my tattoo? I don't go to the hospital. It doesn't make sense. Lady: Uh-huh... I see what you mean.
Missy: "I wish I were popular like you."
Me: "It's not that I'm popular, it's just that the same people keep calling."
And so I present to you: Things I've Overheard in San Francisco Lately
Two twenty-something male hipsters eating eggs and discussing the Mayor Newsome sex scandal: "It's obvious he's a middle age pervert sexist. I mean, duh, look at his hair."
A young white woman walking down the sidewalk to her older, male companion:
"I hate vegans. They are always a pain!"
(astonished noise from companion)
"With my roommate, I put bacon in his oatmeal, and I rub it all around, and then I take it out."
(gasp from companion)
"And when he didn't do the dishes, I put them all in his bed and pulled the covers up over it."
She continued with great relish to describe the ways in which she used bacon to secretly contaminate the vegan's food, and her companion attempted to get her to lower her voice, no doubt concerned that nearby vegans might attack.
5 comments:
Dear God, who's the picture? Is THAT the goddam mayor? THAT'S who plugged his campaign manager's wife? What self respecting woman would risk anything to cavort with that? I must say, that really does go with the rest of your post which begs for the adaption:
You and that haircut were really meant for each other.
Yes, that's him! His hair has always bothered me.
Very recently he stopped putting so much product in his hair all the time, and everyone was gushing about the New Hair.
You know... I have a sister-in-law who cashed out her 401(k) a few years ago to get, among other things, a tattoo and a macaw. I don't like to attend family gatherings that involve my in-laws because I get to hear about stuff like that.
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2amsomewhere
It's not so much his hair as his squinty eyes and his almost perfectly retangular forehead.
I assume you read Leah Garchik, SF.gate, if not http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2007/02/06/DDGRJN7HG11.DTL
She always ends with an "overheard" quote.
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