no child of mine

Part I:

I was flipping through the radio channels as I drove the children to their art class, and I landed on "Once In A Lifetime" by the Talking Heads. I turned it up and sang along, and Iris joined in. "This is not my beautiful house!" When we got where we were going, I kept the radio on until the song was over.

"I don't like that song," said critical Lola.

"Lola! I will disown you. You are no child of mine," I said. In the 80's, the Talking Heads were my favorite band, to the point where people were always telling me that if "Burning Down the House" came on the radio, they suddenly had the urge to call me.

Lola leaned forward and put her arms around me. "I am always your child."

"I can't believe you don't like that song, though. You are required to like that song!"

Part II:

Iris's school supply list included a scientific calculator. This was a meaningful moment for the Sober Husband, a man who can remember every calculator he has ever owned. Instead of buying Iris "the inferior brands on the list, those Texas Instruments really aren't any good", he presented Iris with a scientific calculator he owned himself. He presented it to her reverentially and started extolling its virtues. "You'll want to play around with this," he said.

Iris cut him off. "Yeah, yeah," she said, putting it down on the coffeetable without even glancing at it.

The Sober Husband was aghast. "I can't believe you don't want to try it out! You are not my child!"